Why Do I Feel Invisible & Unloved?

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We’re all special in different ways and our special attributes deserve their fair share of appreciation. Even if we don’t wish to throw a huge ball to seek appreciation for our achievements or support for grievances, a little pat on the back can do wonders. What if you haven’t been receiving the love, affection, support, or appreciation you want? It won’t be a big surprise if you’re wondering that; “I feel invisible in a crowd full of people I’ve known for years”.

It almost feels like a complete loss of identity when the things you value the most make you feel so insignificant. Whether it’s your workplace or your household, feeling under-appreciated and all on your own can send you spiraling down. So, if you’ve been trying to find the reason behind this feeling of uncertainty, here’s more you should be aware of;

How Would You React If You’ve Been Feeling Invisible?

Anyone who’s been feeling neglected or invisible can give one or more of the following indications;

  • Bailing out on important events and gatherings because they feel like they’re not needed there
  • Showing the angst stemming from being treated insignificantly by being aggressive or through passive-aggressive means
  • Talking less often than they once used to
  • Pursuing the perspective of another person instead of offering a personal counter statement
  • Keeping grief and any personal issues to themselves instead of being vocal like they once used to be
  • Spending significantly more time alone
  • Not putting in enough effort to go out, mingle, or meet new people on dates
  • Showing excessive gratitude in return for a small favor
  • Showing utter disbelief when you do sometime special for them for instance; remembering their birthday and presenting them with a gift, etc.
  • Having an immense lack of self-esteem
  • Refusal to communicate with you because they’re utterly disappointed with the way they get treated
  • Spending more time online instead of communicating with actual folks

7 Reasons Why You Might Be Feeling Invisible

Memories & Experiences

Harsh experiences can sometimes latch onto you way stronger than you expected. Even if you’ve consciously forgotten that one bad incident, it might be still unconsciously affecting your life because you refuse to seek therapy. Some of these scenarios may include infidelity and a bad breakup with your close friend or romantic partner. For instance; if you’ve been dumped over superficial reasons; physical attributes, then you might pin this as the reason why people don’t pursue you anymore.

It’s easy to process that you’re not handsome enough that’s why people don’t ask you out instead of blaming your lack of socialization. A bad experience can make you feel insignificant at that very moment and in the future. The reason why you feel so invisible could be because you’re still stuck in the past and mourning the loss of a person who never considered you enough.

Racial and Sexual Prejudice

Our society is teeming with biased individuals. That’s why, despite it being the year 2022, one can easily spot people that hold racial biases and believe stereotypical cultural representation to be true. Based on these harsh beliefs, those individuals hold the general majority on a pretty high pedestal. Meanwhile, others struggle to thrive in these circumstances. For instance; people of color are significantly less likely of getting a promotion at their workplace as compared to a white colleague. Because of these racial motives, a person of color can feel like his/her skills are being overlooked.

It can promote the belief that the color of their skin is responsible for how others don’t deem them worthy. It is easy for such an individual to feel like he/she is invisible despite a deserving appreciation for their due diligence at work or in any other social setting. In other scenarios, one’s race can also prompt them into neglecting the experiences of a person who belongs to another race. For instance; if a Latino man complains about being racially profiled by a policeman and their white friend doesn’t believe them, the former can feel invisible.

The latter has never been through the same circumstances due to white privilege that’s why he might be directly or indirectly neglecting his friend’s struggles as a person of color. Furthermore, in any professional space, sexual bias can make the female employee feel less worthy of acknowledgment. Despite putting in fewer effort men take the cake over women in the workplace. This further strengthens the belief that hardworking women are invisible to employers because of gender-based prejudices.

You’re Generally Very Coy

Being socially awkward or shy in general closes so many pathways. Someone’s who’s always been a little shy might not ever make the first move. Whether it’s a business opportunity or simply taking a shot while asking out a crush, a shy person rarely steps up. You’ll probably wait for the other person to take the first step and if they don’t it amps up the notion that you’re invisible to everyone. A shy individual is always notorious for not participating in social conversations and not presenting ideas during Business ventures. Their ideas rarely find a way to come out and that’s one of the many reasons why others rarely ask them for recommendations. Consequently, you might feel like no one really cares how you feel or have to say about a certain topic, which in turn can make you feel insignificant.

Lack Of Self Esteem

If you feel like you’re not up to the mark, you might never have the courage to make yourself more noticeable. Your lack of self-esteem can stem from a physical disability, racial background, skin color, financial status, etc. Staying hidden in the shadows instead of participating in dialogues like other folks raises the chances of being recognized for that particular flaw. Hence, it’s easy to assume that the reason why you feel invisible is that you think people don’t notice you because of a particular flaw.

Now, on the flip side, you might actually be right. When engaging with a disabled person, people rarely look beyond the surface. Furthermore, people do tend to give more importance to those that look more appealing or possess a financial background that’s more attractive. For instance; becoming a favorite employee based on pretty privilege instead of actual performance. Those who don’t have those socially favored attributes might feel like they’re invisible despite all the effort they put in.

Dysfunctional Childhood

Your early years in life set the base for your future life. In simple words, the nature of your childhood and your upbringing can either set you on the right path or create troubles for the future. Someone who’s been raised in a functional household with decent parenting and emotional support is more likely to be more self-assured. On the contrary, a childhood marked by emotionally neglecting guardians can bring you down.

This feeling of un-assurance stays with you in your adult life unless you seek professional help and take time to analyze your history. The fact that you never received enough attention, support, and love from your very parents can make you feel insignificant for the rest of your life.  Perhaps your parents were more emotionally invested in a sibling or simply never properly reconsidered your emotions. Someone who’s been raised in a way that makes him/her feel unappreciated or unacknowledged will always feel like he or she isn’t enough.

You’re Surrounded By The Wrong Crowd

Some of us have a different view of life and people. That’s why despite people’s flaws, we try to view them for the good things they’ve done and neglect their wrongdoings. Perhaps the reason why you feel unacknowledged and unappreciated is the kind of people you’re surrounded by. Your friends, colleagues, partner, or any close relative might not be as great for you as much as you’d like them to be. You deserve support and have the right to be heard. Of course, you’ll feel like you’re invisible to them if they shot down each one of your cries for support and help. Living with a narcissist can make matters even worse.

A good example of this could be; a sibling who always brings up his woes instead of lending support when you talk about your troubles. The bottom line is, if you’re surrounded by self-centered individuals that don’t deem your ideas or views essential enough, you can feel much less important. A partner who doesn’t consult you while making shared financial decisions is responsible for this unrest you’re experiencing. You just need better people that realize how essential it is to take your thoughts into account instead of putting you down.

Unfavorable Circumstances

Life is a trajectory where so many unexpected turns await you. Even though your life seems pretty on track at the moment, there’s no confirmation that things can’t go south later on. Sometimes these hardships alter you as a person and affect the emotional intimacy or bond you share with your friends. For instance; someone who’s struggling with clinical depression or any other similar anomaly is less likely to mingle with old friends.

Perhaps, over time this creates a rift between you and your old pals, thus you all don’t seem to be on the same page anymore. Consequently, you can feel like you’re not as significant as you one used to be, in short, you’re invisible to anyone who once used to be your pap. Something as severe as a mood disorder, or a bipolar disorder can be also responsible for these constant ups and downs. The temporary lack of attention and the nature of these anomalies can make such individuals experiences extreme emotional lows. During these meltdowns, they can assume that they’re insignificant and are getting neglected by the people they love the most.

What Should I Do If I Feel Invisible?

  • Talk! No matter can be resolved without talking. Talk to your friend, partner, or guardian if they’ve been making you insignificant. Let them know how you’ve been feeling because of their emotionally absent nature. Tell them you don’t appreciate how they don’t deem your opinions important.
  • Stop putting efforts into one-way relationships. Both parties should mutually benefit from a relationship. If communicating your woes does not make your friend or partner change then you shouldn’t be putting so much effort into altering what can’t be altered. Instead put in the same affection and effort into relationships that make you feel more significant and joyous.
  • When people cut you off mid-argument, let them know how offensive it is. You reserve the right to present your side as much as they do. Advocating for yourself isn’t a crime and you shouldn’t experience any guilt for that if you’re doing it as actively as it can be done.
  • Drop those people-pleasing antics. Yes, you should care about the likes and dislikes of the ones you love but let them overpower you so much. Altering yourself won’t make them love you or acknowledge you the way you want them to. You deserve affection and a decent amount of attention even when you’re not shaped the way someone else wants you to be.
  • Talk with a healthcare professional if you’re haunted by a dysfunctional childhood, bad divorce, or any past event that has turned you into this shell of a person. Your low self-esteem and feelings of insignificance can only be altered once you self-reflect in a clinical setting.
Final Words

Being more objective in a situation like this can help you find a reason and a solution more quickly. When we’re burdened by our woes we can easily get emotionally vulnerable. So, try to view your situation as if you’re viewing it from the point of view of a friend. This is how you can figure out the main reason why you feel so invisible. Compile a list of events, people, or occasions that made you feel the worse about yourself. Once you figure out where and around which folks you feel the most unacknowledged, you can make alterations for the future.




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