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Self-esteem is a crucial thing for survival. You can’t expect to live a long successful life or harbor successful personal relationships if your self-esteem does not seem ideal. An individual charged with low self-esteem not only struggles to stand up for herself for the right reasons, but she’s also more than likely to withstand abuse for long periods. Low self-esteem goes directly against the principle of self-love and it can coerce you into following self-deprecatory patterns unintentionally. Women, in particular, tend to struggle with low self-esteem at an alarmingly high rate. Here are some reasons behind this scenario and some obvious red flags one should be able to recognize;
Why Do Most Women Have Low Self-Esteem?
The earlier stages of a person’s life are exceptionally critical when it comes to their later development. For instance; if you’ve been raised in a manner that makes you succumb to low self-esteem or self-worth, you’re more than likely to adopt this mindset in the later part of your life; adulthood. Some women tend to grow up in households that are culturally rooted in patriarchal mindsets. Thus, their entire life they live with the point of view that they are lesser than a man, and their life is run by this belief system till eternity. Additionally, some kids grew up with guardians or parents that crush their confidence from the get-go.
It can be something as normal as body-shaming your kid based on their physical attributes or cognitive abilities that can soon make them turn into a person that doubts everything about herself. A kid of that young age will soon internalize the harsh things being said to them and it will reduce their self-worth. Thus, it’s quite a possibility that someone who’s struggling with self-esteem issues at the moment grew up around people that never left a chance to degrade her.
Lack Of Validation In The Past
It’s quite a possibility that the lack of validation by the people around a woman turned her into someone who disregards herself. Having a large number of “yes men” around you can be toxic but having no one around you that appreciates you can also make you doubt your self-esteem. Even the most minor compliments or appreciative words uttered by someone else for you can give your confidence a sudden boost. Thus, if you have never been around the kind of people that could remind you how important you are, there’s a high chance you’ll never realize how important you are. Emotional validation is a crucial thing that impacts your confidence levels directly. It can determine whether or not you’ll see yourself as ” needed ” in various contexts.
Being stuck in a toxic relationship whether it’s a romantic, familial or platonic one, alters your mindset entirely. For instance, if you’re around a narcissist 24/7 you’re more than likely to consider yourself as a subpar human being, that no one needs. A toxic partner can break your soul and make you believe that no one except your partner will ever love you.
This is another way of keeping control over the victim’s psyche. Having low self-esteem and self-love is one of the many reasons why most women remain stuck in toxic relationships/marriages or fail to escape that situation for a long time. If a woman has been in a toxic relationship with someone in the past or she’s currently in one, this could be a probable cause behind her low self-esteem.
Abandonment or Loss
The loss of a person or a financial loss can lower people’s confidence tremendously. This can be further specified by giving 2 examples surrounding various contexts. If a woman has faced infidelity at the hands of a long-term partner she’d want to know the reason why someone tainted the relationship they shared. This search for a probable reason often ends with self-doubt.
It’s easy to assume that something might be wrong with you or you might lack something that’s why your partner chose to abandon you this way. Consequently, abandonment at the hands of people you love often causes low self-esteem. Moreover, if you’ve made a big decision regarding your family or business and it ended up backfiring you’ll probably doubt your instincts from then on. The loss you faced could’ve shot down your belief in yourself and reduced your self-esteem in the future.
10 Signs Indicating That A Woman Has Low Self Esteem
Putting Others Down
Don’t we all know that one mean girl in our close vicinity who simply can’t tolerate someone else being complimented in front of her? God foebid6 someone dresses a bit more formally than her or has a much brighter academic record. She’ll find a way to put that person down by publically taunting her or finding nonsensical faults in that individual. The mere act of putting others down is a representation of your fears and a way of giving your esteem a bit of artificial boost. It’s an indication that you struggle with low self-esteem which is why you can’t stand the idea of having someone else one-up you in any way.
Inability To Accept Compliments or Fishing For Compliments
People struggle with low self-esteem in different ways which is why the signs they exhibit can never be generalized. A woman who has low self-esteem can either find it very hard to digest being complimented over a trait or find ways to fish for compliments 24/7. In the case of the former, the person in question cannot seem to accept the fact that she is worth any kind words. Her achievements don’t feel as big as they are to her, consequently, her self-esteem doesn’t notice any kind of boost. Thus, whenever another person compliments her over something, it comes off as a surprising turn of events prompting her to exhibit shock. In the case of the latter, the woman in question will constantly exhibit a need for compliments. These compliments serve as a means for a temporary ego boost and provide relief for a while until the need strikes again.
Continuous Need For Reassurance
If you’re dating someone like this then you most definitely understand this manner more clearly. First, you must understand that a person with low self-esteem doesn’t feel much secure in her own body. There’s a high chance that she might not even regard herself as worthy of love, care, or adoration. Having low self-esteem can spark the fear of abandonment in them. Consequently, they usually fear the fact that a romantic partner, friend, or family member might leave her because of the things she lacks. Someone who’s struggling with a similar context might constantly ask questions similar to these;
“Do you think I’m pretty enough for you?”
“Am I enough for you?”
“You’d never leave me alone, right?”
Once she receives an answer that relieves her sense the trust issues and the need for reassurance wear off for a quick minute. Later on, it can strike again if a person with low self-esteem panics when greeted with something mildly threatening.
A woman struggling with low self-esteem always regards herself as below average. Thus, a large majority of them always feel threatened when someone mildly more attractive or successful is in their close vicinity. The fear of being left off because of their not-so-appealing traits prompts them to gatekeep the people and things that seem most precious to them. This form of gatekeeping can often be obsessive and abusive.
A woman with low self-esteem will show signs of extreme jealousy when a close friend or partner tends to show closeness towards someone else. No matter how platonic their partner’s affection is towards another friend, low self-esteem will get the best of her. Thus, she might try to unleash the impact of low self-esteem through her anger. Things can go as far as distancing a boyfriend from meeting other people, keeping tabs on a partner’s social activities, stalking in general, etc. Things can get even worse and take the form of domestic abuse stemming from jealousy.
Extreme Focus On Self Improvement
A large majority of people that tend to place extra focus on their appearance are usually struggling with low self-esteem. It’s not necessary that every person who’s extra vigilant regarding their physical appearance and attire has low self-esteem but it’s still a probability. Someone with low self-esteem will exhibit signs of shame and embarrassment about their physical attributes; facial features, body type, complexion, etc. They often indulge in appearance-altering procedures; prosthetics, cosmetic alteration, nose jobs, lip injections, liposuction, etc. Getting these procedures and adapting to a more “attractive” appearance that can alter a woman’s natural attributes, gives her an ego boost.
Inability To Take Any Risks
If you don’t think enough of yourself, no matter how exceptional you are in actuality, you’ll never take a risk that holds any leverage against you. Even the brightest of minds fail to take any responsibility or apply for a position that could uplift them in multiple just because they don’t trust their potential. For instance; a woman that struggles with low self-esteem is less likely of approaching a guy that she likes because of the risk of being rejected as she believes she might not be attractive enough for him.
Similar can be the case of a businesswoman who doesn’t believe in taking a financial risk that has a high chance of panning in her favor. You’ll notice it as a common pattern among women with low self-esteem, that they don’t believe in taking chances, trying their luck, or believing their instincts.
Misinterpreting People’s Intentions
Even while someone’s intentionally trying to praise them, an individual struggling with low self-esteem will ways expect the worse for them. So, even the most genuine kind of compliments might seem like someone is trying to poke fun at them. Furthermore, if someone tries to help them out through a kind favor, oftentimes a person who has low self-esteem would assume that there are some malign intentions even behind this favor.
Self-mutilation, starvation, cutting, and other self-deprecatory patterns are all everyday habits among people with low self-esteem. The self-hatred that sparks from having low self-esteem can continuously disrupt a person’s mental and emotional stability. Thus, the aforementioned acts are usually a way of coping and taking out frustration. To spot a person, you should be looking for the signs of these aforementioned acts. Some of these may include; deep scars on the arms or other visible parts of their body, sudden weight reduction, skipping meals, etc.
The Impact Of Low Self Regard
Having zero regards for yourself or anything related to you can have someone doing unimaginable things. Women who tend to have no regard for themselves tend to date men that are not fit for them. They’re highly likely to date or get married to subpar partners and even go as far as withstanding abuse.
Their low self-esteem often leads them into believing that their partner is the only person that might be able to withstand them. Thus, a woman of this sort will stick around with that particular partner just because they show affection towards them now and then. Their emotional dependency, need for affection and low self-worth don’t give them the chance to choose better partners.
Look around, you’ll most definitely find someone in need of some affirmatory, kind words. Realize the impact of your kind and unkind words by making changes in the way you perceive people’s lackings.