I am not good at anything…
If you have been thinking that you are not good at anything, stop!
Stop thinking something like this right now because it is a load of crap.
Do you know that with the deviation of flaming narcissistic and sociopaths, mostly everyone out there suffers from imposter syndrome?
Every person on this planet suffers from one type of self-esteem issue or another… but nobody will ever admit to it.
Social media has a lot of uses, but it can be seriously harmful to those who sprawl in other people’s visible success. Many people do not realize that those perfect Instagram and Pinterest posts and Facebook brags are very highly curated.
People don’t want to admit their failures and weakness because we all are trying so hard to succeed at something, anything, just for a moment.
All we ever know about another person is what they want to share. Because sometimes the person you think is the most talented may be battling or suffering a difficult illness or severe financial woes.
And it is not like only you are doing this. The person you admire compare themselves to others as well, and they have their own self-doubts and feelings of worthlessness too.
So, if you please can try to stop it right now.
If you are thinking and have been saying “I am not good at anything” or “I am not enough” then there are two possibilities:
- You are right.
- You are wrong.
Let’s talk about what the case is.
Is it an outlook or a fact?
A fact is something that is compatible with objective reality or can be proven with authentication. While an opinion or outlook is a belief or judgment about a specific which is not based on complete assurance.
People usually confuse opinions with facts and beat themselves up for basic opinions which may or may not be true.
- Fact: You are dismissed from your job.
- Opinion: Your life is ruined.
Reality: There are millions of people who got a better job or built a business after getting fired from their jobs.
Opinions are intuitive. They don’t certainly reflect reality. If you think you are not good enough or you are not good at anything then you should analyze where these beliefs are coming from.
Did the opinions of your parents, teachers or other figures in your life make you feel inferior? If that is the case, I can cautiously say that any and all of those opinions are not correct because here is the truth:
People who infused in you those beliefs are likely to be average or below people since the majority of people are average or below average. The views of average people don’t count. If their viewpoint mattered then they would not be immersed in the cesspool of adequacy.
The average person has no best business giving advice because he would not be average himself in the first place if his advice was valuable. Moreover, average or below average people do not like to see someone else succeed because someone else’s success will remind them of their failure.
Of course, there is a firm possibility that you, in reality, are not good at anything or you are not good enough for the life goals you want to fulfill.
2.Give the middle finger to societal norms:
Society has powerful shaming techniques to bully you into living a normal life.
If you changed from the normal direction of
- Go to school
- Get a college degree
- Find a good job
- Get married
- Have 2.5 kids
- Drown in debt trying to raise the kids
- Live in persistent fear of getting fired from your job
- Retire at old age
Then the society will do its best to make you feel minor. Never mind the fact that following that by following these directions is a surefire path to inferiority.
The only way to live a normal life is to give the middle finger to societal norms, break the terms and live on your own terms. Society won’t be there for you to help you in court when you get divorce raped. Society won’t be there for you when you die thousands of deaths every day on your job. Society won’t be there when your boss fired you from your job and still have a mountain of bills bridging loan to pay. Society will not only bully you into living a normal life but also it will expect you to be ashamed when you step out of a line.
There is no shame to refuse the life of a slave. If the societal norms are making you feel not good enough then you can give the middle finger to them and build a great life for yourself, that is far above normal.
It is for sure not an easy task to build a great life, you have to work hard for that, but experiencing a normal life is harder and you will have to pay the price of wasting your whole life. Ignore society and work hard to become a good man.
It is not always necessary to think negatively about yourself, try to think optimistically. And think about what you have instead of what you do not have. Same, see the good things in yourself rather than noticing your imperfections.
We All are Good at Something:
If you sit in silence and take a moment with yourself, or think about yourself deeply, you will, without any doubt, find something really awesome in which you are really good.
It cannot be something that you will snap a photograph of just to get likes on some public profile or another, it can be a gentle talent or skill that few others might even be aware of.
…But it is something only you can do it.
Be honest with yourself and try to step outside your body and see how others can perceive you for a moment.
How to find what you are good at?
So many of us focus on the weaknesses of or character. Why? Because it is natural and easy to focus on the negative and ignore the positive. This exactly happens to those who have abilities that are not exactly obvious.
These are the examples to figure out what you are good at:
- Courage and ability to keep going with a task even if you are failing. One should not easily give up.
- One should not be trustful and should not jump to conclusions easily. There are always multiple sides to any story.
- One should be a kind and caring person, who thinks about how they are feeling.
Society requires all types of people with different interests and talents. So, while your strengths may be less obvious or clear to the eyes, it does not mean that you don’t have any strengths. You just need to think positively about what you are good at.
Don’t Believe Everything You Think!
Your own mind can be your worst and biggest enemy, specifically when we go through rough times.
Frustrations, personal and career setbacks, and relationship difficulty can throw us into earthward spirals of self-loathing and quarreling.
Most of us have impractical expectations for ourselves that we would never dream of having for anyone else, but it is a lot easier to compassionate and gentle toward our loved ones than it is to show that same love and kindness to ourselves.
Do you know what’s helpful during such time?
Going back to those who love you for a bit of positive reinforcement.
Start a blank document and write down all the wonderful things your friends have said to you so you can re-read those pieces of beauty and encouragement whenever you need them.
If you are comfortable doing this, so you can go to a step further and be very honest with those who are close to you, ask them about how they are feeling and ask them to let you know about something they like or appreciate about you.
The best part about doing this activity is that you can then reciprocate.
Things to remember when you think you are not good enough:
“We can’t hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love.”
~ Lori Deschene
Sometimes we can feel terrible when we compare ourselves to other people, no matter how many times we read or hear how good enough or loveable we are.
On an almost daily basis, we carefully look for proofs that we are nobody, that we don’t deserve to be loved, or that we are not living up to our lovable potential.
There is generally a lot of pressure to stack up in our culture. We feel as if there is something wrong is happening around us, like, we are still single by a specific age, don’t make certain money, don’t have a large group of friends, or don’t look or act in a certain way in the presence of others. The list goes on.
While self-journey is going on, here are a few things we should try to remember when we feel tempted to be mean to ourselves:
- The people you compare yourself, they compare themselves to others too.
- Your mind can be a very convincing liar.
- There is more positivity with you than negativity
- You need love the most when you feel you need it the least.
- You have to accept and make yourself comfortable with the “now” before you can reach and feel satisfied with “later”.
- Focus on progress rather than perfection and on how far you have become instead of how far you have left to go.
- You can’t hate yourself by loving yourself more.
I know it sounds really simple, but the only way to achieve self-love is to love your own self regardless of who you are and where do you stand, even if you know you want to change.
You are enough just as you are and self-love will be a little bit easier every time you remind yourself about it.
In the age of the internet now, you get all of the information on the internet. If you are not good at anything you can easily educate yourself about it. Self-education is necessary if you want to escape from the prison of modern slavery. Most of us believe that we are done with education after we graduate from school. The truth is that whatever you learned at school is totally worthless propaganda.
Moreover, school incorrectly thought you that failure is bad, and you should feel embarrassed about it. You should not only learn about new things even after school, but you also have to unlearn the lies you were told.
Education should be a lifelong tool in your arsenal.
Nobody is born “good enough “or “good at something.” Mastery is when you earn through your hard work and education.
In the past, you had to be a slave or poor until you died because your masters had limited your approach to education. Now you have no excuse, all the education you need is available online. By educating yourself and working hard, you can be good at anything you want.
If you are doing what you love and it brings joy to you, then it is enough.
YOU are enough.