Self Love 101: How To Like Yourself?

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If you were asked to list 5 individuals that you really appreciate and like; would your name be on that list? We’re not asking you to engulf yourself in a long session of self-analysis because it’s merely a simple question. Do you like yourself? If the answer is yes, then good for you but if it’s in negation perhaps you all might be wondering 2 things. The former, why don’t I like myself as much as I like someone else. The latter; how to like yourself?

Now, there is a multitude of reasons why some people might not be that empathetic towards themselves. Some individuals simply grew up in houses where self-deprecation was quite the norm. Consequently, they never learned how to like and appreciate themselves.

Living with a narcissistic partner can also make you find flaws in yourself that never existed, to begin with. Besides all these flaws that either exist or do not exist, everyone deserves to be in love with themselves. If love seems like a stretch, then one should at least be able to like themselves. Here are 11 acts that can help you like yourself a little more than usual;

Set Casual Reminders For Yourself

It’s easy to fall back into negative cycles you’ve been trying to avoid. Keeping your mind occupied with other things can often derail you from the track you were following. In other words, even after aiming to be kinder to yourself, you could still be doing the exact opposite without even realizing it. You can counterattack this negative thought pattern by setting reminders. Set multiple reminders on your phone for yourself during the day. These small reminders can include some kind words from yourself to yourself. Remind yourself that you’re enough.

Try to follow some more social media accounts that post mind and body positive content.  Another alternative could be dropping small paper chits in your purse, wallets, or any other place around the house that you frequently visit. You can purchase or print out some quotes or words of appreciation. Hanging or pasting them in a room that you frequently sit inside will remind you to stay in a bubble of self-love.

Don’t Involve Yourself In The Things You Don’t Like

Self-hatred is a tricky subject. So, while we’re on this discourse it’s important to understand one thing; involving yourself in the things you hate will probably make you dislike yourself. The things we’re referring to could be a relationship or degree you no longer want to be involved with or quite simply a toxic environment that fuels your hatred for yourself. The regret of not listening to your first intuition will eat you alive. Even if at the beginning, your heart tells you to stick around, you’ll probably start despising yourself later on. Thus a huge step in this journey towards self-love is to separate yourself from the things that don’t appeal to you. If you’re an overly empathetic person, you might put others before you. Doing the things you love, makes you feel secure and grounded. So, trust your first intuition, and do what your heart tells you to do instead of jumping into a bottomless pit of sacrifices.

Be Your Friend

You deserve a pat on the back now and then. Not simply because you aced a work-related project or scored better on an exam, but also because you’ve been surviving despite any troubles that befall you. As humans, we tend to undermine our abilities and not acknowledge our own achievements.

So lend your inner voice a medium to shine through and try to become your own friend. Congratulate yourself on your achievements like you’re appreciating a friend of yours. Acknowledging these small things will help you accept that you’re not worthless but in actuality, a much more appreciable human being.

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

Self-Exploration Is An Absolute Necessity

Try to use the word “hate” less often while referring to yourself. Explore your shortcomings from a new perspective instead of wondering demeaning things about yourself. You don’t “hate” the way you look, you’re simply one step behind your desired look. You’re not a “fool” for spilling coffee on a new dress, you’re just a little clumsy. Being more talkative isn’t a personality flaw, but a part of your personality. Just don’t put an exact label on yourself and then stick to it. You’re only human and you’re going to commit many more errors. Being a little kind and accepting these mistakes as learning experiences will only make you appear much less of a villain in your own eyes.

Stay Clear Of Any Casual Haters

What you consume during the entire day, consciously or unconsciously affects your entire demeanor. This conversation proceeds the wavelengths of just your diet. Hereby we’re referring to the content you’re consuming and the chatter you surround yourself with. If you’re around the right group of people their words of appreciation will surely boost your confidence and make you feel better about yourself.

You automatically feel better about your entire being if you know you’re loved by so many. On the contrary, you’ll probably feel more on the edge if someone’s constantly reminding you of your lackings. Taunts and back-handed comments can make you feel like less of a person. As strong as they try to act, words do affect the way some people feel about themselves. For instance: someone poking fun at your increasing weight can take a huge toll on your self-confidence. This situation can often result in you jumping into a cycle of self-hatred, where you starve yourself repeatedly.

That’s why the most essential step in this journey of self-love is to find the crowd that rightfully fits with you. Cut out any friends or relatives that offer you nothing but negativity. Make more space for good people whose words and acts make you fall more in love with the way you already are. Isn’t that why everyone says; “Good Vibes Only”

Be A Little Patient For Once

Efforts aren’t enough always because everything takes its sweet time to prevail. If you’re getting over a breakup don’t beat yourself to it. You will jump out of this slumber, feel more confident and start going out once again but right now you need your time. Isn’t it funny how we are always extra patient with any other authoritative figure but never give ourselves the same liberty? Well, then right about now you’re taking an oath to be more patient towards yourself. Allow yourself the time to relax and gradually work towards a goal. Don’t dislike yourself for staying one step behind a competitor because you’ve set a timeline and you should only need to work according to that timeline.

Work On Being More Forgiving

Forgiveness is a rewarding activity, not only for the person you’re forgiving but also for yourself. If you’re confused then think about forgiving one of your foes for a quick minute. Thinking about what they did to you might make your blood boil and that’s why you’ve been keeping them stuck in a state of purgatory. Forgiving that particular person will free you from that state of unrest and push you onto better things. Sticking onto the bad memories of the past inhibits your growth. People often blame themselves and hold grudges against themselves for trusting another person that ultimately fooled them. Seeking the path of forgiveness uplifts you in your own eyes. It’s a selfless act of kindness that only a few can carry out. Furthermore, forgiving yourself for a mistake you made in the past can absolutely stop you from scratching the same walls repeatedly. It’s a step that can break old chains of shame and lift off that weight from your shoulder that’s been pushing you down.

Don’t Feel Guilty By Association

Anyone with a conscience cannot stand the wrath of guilt. It’s another thing if your guilt stems from your own follies and a whole other thing if you’re feeling guilty by association. Someone who feels guilty in this scenario might be feeling bad for relating or being friends with an actual culprit; a murderer, rapist, a corrupt person.

Associating with that particular person can make you feel like you’re not a good person considering how you’re still closely knit to a guilty individual. If you’re feeling guilty due to this link, it is an indicator that this bond needs to be broken. You can’t simply live with the shame of a crime you never even committed. So, be a rightful individual and cut ties at the proper time. Consequently, you’ll feel less iffy about yourself and like yourself a little better than you do already.

Focus On The Goods Before Noticing The Flaws

Perhaps the way you dressed for a date irks you out. Maybe you don’t like the way the dress fits on your body or the make-up seems a little bit tacky. Now, step back from the mirror and take a long look at yourself. Instead of counting the flaws that are amplifying your inner critic’s voice, take a look at the things that turned out well. Take a deep breath and focus on the qualities you’d rank 10/10. Maybe your eye makeup looks spot on or you seem to think that this particular hairstyle amplifies your hair color. Who knows, you might even appreciate the way this neckline makes you appear tonight. Whenever you’re in a moment of crisis, try to find the things that make you seem more desirable to yourself.

Self Acceptance Can Move Mountains

“Nobody’s perfect!” This is a sentence you must’ve heard from everyone including; your mother, your grandmother, every self-help guru on Instagram. But, have you really applied it to your life. Think about it for a second, you can always name a few flaws even in the most perfect people you’ve ever encountered. Once you accept the fact that no one can amount to all societal standards of beauty or wealth, self-love becomes much more achievable. You can be much kinder to yourself if you’re aware of this fact. Furthermore, it can fuel your likeness to yourself based on how every critical thing said to you is meaningless.

Therapy Rarely Disappoints

Whether your upbringing, the media you consume, or the toxic people you’re surrounded by fuel your dislike for yourself, therapy can always be the ultimate savior. Taking to a psychologist and seeking clinical help can stabilize your emotions, resolve low self-esteem, help you in getting over your dysfunctional childhood, etc. Additionally, it’s one of the only ways of getting over body image issues, or any eating disorders that result in the hatred directed towards yourself. I

If you’re trying to disassociate with the people that make you feel less of an appreciable person then a counselor can suggest ways that might cause less emotional pain. A good therapist can root out the cause behind your inclination towards self-criticism. From then on you can both work to dismantle that particular root cause.

Final Words

The bottom line is, the world is your oyster and there are countless ways to be a more likable version of yourself. But let this be a reminder that you’re allowed to take your time and to commit some errors. Don’t hold yourself on a pedestal so high that making one error shatters your confidence forever. Lastly, you can try and chase fulfillment but don’t forget to cut yourself some slack on this chase. It’s great that you want to work on your skills or towards a better body. If you truly believe that being 6 pounds lighter might raise your self-esteem and make you like yourself a little more, then just go for it.








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