If your relationship seems to be on the edge it’s time to take a good look at your partner and question yourself “Could having less emotional quotient be the culprit at hand?” It can surely be challenging to deal with less emotional intelligence in love life and marital life. But with patience, persistence, love, and awareness you can turn the wheel around at any second. It’s a time taking process that also requires the consent of your partner to change for the sake of your relationship and you. To get your point across it’s important that you understand why having emotional intelligence matters. Once you understand the situation at hand you can convince a significant other to alter some not-so-great parts of their personality.
Emotional Intelligence: What’s All The Fuss About?
Basically, emotional intelligence or emotional quotient means a person’s ability to Evaluate control, and regulate emotions. Although some researchers argue that not everyone is born with emotional intelligence it can still be strengthened through constant effort.
Emotional intelligence is a huge contributor to the life span of romantic relationships. If there’s a couple that’s been able to stand by each other for a long while, one way or another emotional intelligence must’ve contributed to this success. Having emotional intelligence also ensures that you and your partner have the right amount of intimacy and an unbreakable bond. Your emotions control how you interact and behave with other individuals. So, needless to say, having more emotional intelligence can ensure that you can prolong the course of your marriage.
Emotional Intelligence and Drastic Changes
The way you view things can affect the way you find a solution for those things. Having a positive outlook on things instead of viewing them as a nihilistic person can save you lots of emotional baggage and time. You and your partner must try to view troubles as a challenge instead of a disharmonious event. Viewing troubles as a challenge gives you the encouraging tap everyone needs on the back before commencing on a journey towards betterment. Furthermore, seeking couples counseling also ensures that you receive the best possible advice one needs while working things out with a significant other. Instead of bickering with your partner in code words, try to get your point across in a more specific manner. Voicing your opinions in front of your partner instead of playing the silent game is the right way to work stuff out.
Emotion Intelligence and The Honeymoon Phase
It’s rather odd to be finding out the status of a relationship in the honeymoon phase, but a few people do need some mental satisfaction. But how can one find out whether they are in a relationship with an emotionally intelligent individual or not? There are multiple ways to discover whether a romantic relationship has been drastic or good for you. But, here are some simple pointers to land on the right answer.
- Try spending time away from your partner and then collect your thoughts in the afternoon. Question yourself; whether you enjoyed your time being alone without the person you claim to love or was it a rather unsatisfactory day? If the former thought comes across your mind, your relationship surely seems to be on the right path.
- Notice the impact a new relationship has been having on your personal routine and professional life. Is there any noticeable change in your work ethic or concentration levels? Do you find yourself relentlessly worrying about pleasing your partner even during work hours? A healthy relationship’s supposed to improve other areas of your life instead of worsening them. If you find yourself struggling to focus at your office during work hours, more or less you’re having relationship problems that are now taking a toll on other areas of your life.
- Your body can tell you what no one else can tell you. Being in a healthy relationship with an emotionally intelligent individual can have a positive impact on both your physical and mental health. So, has your health improved or worsened ever since you’ve been in a relationship? The answer to this question can determine the success rate of this particular relationship.
The Dead Giveaways of A Low EQ Romantic Partner
Inability to read the room
Don’t we all have that one friend who always embarrasses awesome in front of the whole crowd due to their inability to sense what’s going on? This embarrassment always stems from the fact that a person with low emotional intelligence blurts out something they’re not supposed to say at that particular moment. It’s an extraordinary behaviour and without even realizing that particular person might even offend other individuals.
Criticism and defensiveness
This is perhaps the most noticeable sign of having a low EQ partner in your love life or marital life. If you’re both in the middle of an argument, a person with low EQ will Most definitely fail to admit their mistake. regardless of being at fault, romantic partners with low EQ never admit their mistake. they would rather act defensive when presented with constructive criticism and would rather shut down completely when confronted.
Not a people-person
If you’re dealing with a partner with low EQ you might be able to notice how frequently they don’t seem to be on good terms with anyone in their close circle. individuals with low emotional intelligence Are more likely to pick up fights with their friends and be on bad terms with their colleagues.
The inability to have basic control over emotions often results in extreme highs and extreme lows. The reaction also a person with low emotional intelligence is more likely to differ from the reaction of a person with high emotional intelligence. When presented with a piece of rather sorrowful news, people with low emotional intelligence tend to completely lose their nerves. On the contrary, when presented with happy news they’re more likely to create extreme buzz.
Inability to respond
Perhaps the biggest drawback of dating or being married to a person with low emotional intelligence is their inability to console you when the need arises. having lower emotional intelligence doesn’t mean that a particular person may be cold-hearted it’s just that they don’t know how to console you or respond to your emotional needs. This kind of romantic partner is more likely to sit in silence and look at you crying instead of coming up or saying a word or two.
How To Deal With A Significant Other Who’s Less Emotionally Intelligent
- As stated earlier a person with low EQ is more likely to take a defensive approach to constructive criticism. Henceforth when presented with a solution they are more likely to be offended by that particular idea. That is why you need to assure them that you are both on the same team. This type of reassurance will make them more adjustable to the atmosphere and relapse their confidence over you once again. Now, once they’re settled down, They would be more open to the idea of listening to what you have to say.
- Now, you must realize that you are dealing with a person who cannot completely express their emotions decently. So, you’ve got to remain patient in your approach. It’s OK to become persistent as it’s the only way to take your point across to the other person but this kind of persistence should be equally matched with patience. You are not against your partner you are against the problem so don’t take out your exhaustion over your partner. In short, it may take some time for your partner to completely open up to you but it would be worth the wait.
- Before picking up the discussion you must make sure that the environment’s quite appropriate. Try to choose a place where your partner feels most at ease it could be your home or a public place of your partner’s choice. Now, being at ease doesn’t mean that you can use any alcoholic beverages to make your partner feel a bit more comfortable. It’s a very sensitive discussion so both parties should be completely aware of what’s going on in order to resolve the conflict.
- While discussing the issue your partner is bound to have an outburst. Don’t let your partner’s sudden outburst stray you from the idea of having uncomfortable discussions. if you won’t have the courage to talk on a visibly uncomfortable topic then how would you find the solution for that conflict?
- Before starting the discussion with your partner make sure that you know what you are going to talk about. write down keynotes that you plan on presenting in front of your partner. organizing your thoughts ensures the fact that you won’t fumble or forget what you were trying to say.
Are You An Emotionally Intelligent Individual?
Yes, there has been enough chatter about having an emotionally intelligent romantic partner now is the time to put yourself in the confession box. So, if you are able to find the following qualities in your personality you are more likely to be an emotionally intelligent individual.
Offense? Ever heard of it?
People with higher emotional intelligence are more likely to be more lighthearted. henceforth they are less likely to be offended by minor discussions. People of such sort are also more likely to understand that constructive criticism is only beneficial for them. Furthermore, such individuals are also able to poke fun at themselves because they feel completely confident.
The Inability To Hold Grudges
A person with low EQ is more likely to hold grudges than a person with high EQ. if someone has done you wrong in the past and it doesn’t make you that mad anymore then you are most definitely at peace and less anxious. Holding grudges only harms you more than it harms a person that it’s all about. People with higher emotional intelligence understand that dwelling on the past can never be beneficial to their present or future. Such partners can also forgive mistakes earlier on instead of mentioning them again in the future.
Hasta La Vista Toxicity!
Are you able to stop toxicity and toxic people right on the track? Then my friend you are definitely an emotionally intelligent individual. Such individuals always take others’ opinions with a grain of salt instead of vehemently believing them. Even when it is time to approach a toxic person emotionally intelligent people to try to deal with the situation with more rationality.
Perfection Is A Myth
Emotionally intelligent people understand that there’s no such thing called perfection. This is one of the many reasons why such people are more satisfied with themselves instead of chasing after what others say. Furthermore, emotionally intelligent people are less likely to compare themselves with other people as this only leads to disappointment. Noticing what others have to say will only decrease your own joy. Consequentially, people with high EQ always stay in their lane and don’t give others the chance to control their emotions.
Relationships only work if both parties are able to forget their wrongdoings and work on the problem that troubles them at present. Not everyone is born with high emotional intelligence and you are very much less likely to find someone who has the same emotional intelligence levels as you. Now, this doesn’t mean that you have to completely abandon the idea of having a normal relationship. Both you and your partner can collectively work on your lackings and fill the empty space present in your relationship. We hope that this article helped you understand the essentiality of having emotional intelligence while dealing with a significant other.